The Secret Society

Though rare,

We are there to be found
If you know where to look.
We blaze a spectrum
From palest sun-tinged straw,
Through cool amber, warm orange,
Fiery red, burnished brown
To glowing chestnut.
Subject to the same insults
And saddled with the same clichés,
We are in fact unique and proud.
Part of a secret society,
We look twice when we encounter one another;
Give shy smiles of recognition,
Glances of understanding and
Nods of solidarity.
As a child,
I shrank from the sun
And from the attention.
Now I embrace both;
Cling to my identity and hope
That age will not render my membership void.

Parallel Universe

Brave, bold, stark, strange new world.
Without an orientation day,
I was thrust into a parallel universe
Which I'd barely acknowledged before.
Thrown through the door that has now
Melted back into the walls,
I stare through frosted glass
At the other world—
The one I lived in.
Once, I was a stranger to this place.
Some language lessons might have been useful.
Now, I struggle to speak and advocate
And translate for my friends outside.
There are others here, but
We rarely meet—
Keeping our heads down
And our feelings contained,
Apart from the odd sympathetic nod.
I feel so bad for them
While trying to minimise my own reality.
I'm a different person here
And long for my other life.
I know that in weeks or months,
I'll somehow escape,
But nothing will be the same.
I'm expected to master this;
To learn the terminology and
Act stronger than I feel.
I'm bluffing it, but don't want to stay
Long enough to become an expert;
Toughness eroding away feelings.
People do try to call me
But it's so hard to talk to them
When I am in here
And they are out there.

Revolving Door

I've stepped in, and then out

Of this new role;
This new reality.
In and out; in and out.
Only this time, I've got myself stuck
In the revolving door.
How did I end up here
With no real prospect of return?
As the world moves on,
I'm caught in a state of
Perpetual motion,
Going nowhere.

Identity

Who do you see?
The abled one who can’t
Or the disabled one who can?
Two different sides to
The same contradictory coin.
It all depends on your perspective.
From the vantage point of she
Who looks like one,
Behaves like the other
And aspires to be a superhuman
It is impossible to tell.

Zeitgeist

Someone stole my child while I was sleeping,

And left a fine young lady in her place.

Her appearance is familiar;

The fairness of her skin and hair,

The huge blue eyes and lightness of frame all quite expected;

The products of her genes.

 

She’s steeped in music and words,

And will carry these abilities through her life;

The products of her upbringing.

The surprise is in the woman she’s become.

All by herself, she’s a spirit of the age

With her finger on society’s pulse.

 

An artist, an aesthetician,

A social justice warrior,

A defender of human rights,

A lover of animals and

A voice for the voiceless,

The shy little girl has become

Politically bold,

Unapologetically outspoken,

A loyal friend, who will not tolerate

The mistreatment of others.

 

We spend nine months

Expecting a baby.

Time and experience will show us

Who that child will become,

And that is the Unexpected.

 

Tre Mesi

Tre mesi di italiano!

Ho imparato molto.

Conosco persino la differenza

Tra faccio, viso e volto.

 

Conosco i giorni e i mesi,

Come contare fino a cento;

Parla di colori e

Descrivi l'abbigliamento.

 

Conosco alcuni oggetti

Che sono a casa mia.

E i parenti: fratelli, nonni,

Madre, padre, zio e zia.

 

Parlo molto di cibo

E anche animali,

La taglia del mio criceto

E i miei nuovi stivali.

 

Le domande sono facili

E anche l'ortografia.

Conosco poche parole

A proposito di geografia.

 

Amo molte delle parole

Ma questi: ti, mi, vi, e ci,

Noi, voi, te, me e lo, la, le

Sono IMPOSSIBILI!

If

If my love were enough...

You would rise with each new dawn

And fly on soundless wings;

Soar high above the earth

Released from Time and Things.

If my love were enough...

We could catch a wave and travel;

Riding on currents, mum and daughter -

To see the beauty and splendour

Of a world beneath the water.

If my love were enough...

You could live in a beautiful palace

Perched high upon a mountain,

Fashioned from the finest gold,

Complete with a sparkling fountain.

If my love were enough...

You might collect joys in a jam jar:

The smell of a soothing rain shower,

A perfect, variegated sunset and

The blooming of a flower.

If my love were enough...

You'd live a long and happy life

Being the best that you could be.

I'd always be there to hold you

And most of all, I'd set you free.

L'impossibilité

C'est très difficile; 

À la limite de l'impossibilité. 

Mais ce qui semble impossible 

Doit être rendu possible. 

Je dois le faire 

Pour nous deux. 

Un temps de changement; 

Un temps de croissance.

Prendez tout ce que j'ai,

Et tout ce que je suis. 

Empruntez un peu de ma force. 

Ça peut nous encercler tous les deux

Pendant que nous attendons.

The Impossible

It is very difficult; 

Verging on impossible. 

But that which seems impossible 

Must be made possible. 

I must do it 

For us both. 

A time of change; 

A time of growth.

Take all that I have 

And all that i am. 

Borrow some of my strength. 

It can encircle us both 

While we wait.

Breathe

In... out... in... out.

A reflex. Refresh, relax.

Breathe in clean, cool air.

Breathe in calm. Breathe in light.

Still the crazy cacophony

Of chaotic, cascading thoughts.

From the lucid to the tangled,

Push them out and sit for now

While we reboot.

Make space to be. To rest. To breathe.

Back at the beginning,

I promised to protect you always;

To let nothing hurt you.

Naivety reigned.

How could I keep my word:

You and me against the world?

Your carry the best of us both

Yet a feel a daily ache

For what I have bequeathed.

The unknown can be daunting;

Forever is a long time,

But tomorrow is not guaranteed.

You are here right now;

Look how far we've come!

Today was once a distant unknown.

You've got this!

We'll take it

One infinitesimally small bit at a time.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

More Than You Know

Year 7 French class:

Pens scrawling busily,

Buzz of chat in the air

And suddenly it hits me -

The teacher's started feeling ill.

She carries on enthusiastically.

I look around -

They're all absorbed in what's being said

Not the way she says it.

Was it a change in tone,

A weariness or false cheer?

She thinks that I don't know

That she's trying to push through,

But I hear.

Wednesday morning break time

Working in a school:

Wearily climbing stairs -

It's going to be a long day.

I quietly push open

The door to the staffroom.

Four people are inside, wearing smiles of greeting

But something isn't right.

He has just told Her to get lost

And there's an atmosphere between the others.

Were they discussing me?

Or something that they shouldn't?

They act like all is well;

I awkwardly do the same,

But I feel.

A gathering of friends:

A positive time for all.

Laughter and love,

Familiarity and fun.

I don't know her that well,

But something just seems off.

I know little of her story

Yet her pain hits me like lightning.

As my blood run icy cold

The moment has been ruined.

I feel horrified but powerless,

I'm not supposed to know

But I see.

Trying to have a conversation

About how his day has gone:

All is fine, his work is fine,

His friends are doing well.

At least, that's what he told me.

But when the body betrays the voice,

Which one should I attend to?

The words were clearly lies;

We've just had a different conversation

To the one he thinks we've had.

He didn't tell the truth

But I know.

So many questions remain unanswered:

How do I know

When they don't want me to know?

And what do I do now

With the knowledge that I've gleaned?

Do I take them at face value?

Ignore the atmospheres and lies?

Or push past the reserve;

Sit alongside the hurting and the lonely?

Only time will tell me

Whether I will find the courage.

Until then,

Please don't think that I don't get it

Because - somehow - I really do.

Divertimento con l'italiano

Alla donna non piace la sua gonna;

Il ragazzo non legge un libro a palazzo.

Vedo l'ape sulla cena, ed il pollo in altalena.

Questo è quello che ho imparato su Duolingo.

Conosco aglio e olio, taglia e maglia,

Griglia e biglia, famiglia e bottiglia.

I miei preferiti sono cucchiaino, settimanalmente e rimangono.

Questo è quello che ho imparato su Duolingo.

Quanto, quando, quanti, quale,

Come, che, chi e cosa.

So come scriverli, dirli, ma non quale è quale.

Voglio imparare su Duolingo.

Mi piace studiare e imparare,

Ma l'app è troppo particolare.

Duolingo dice, "Traduci questo:

Vedo una bottiglia d'acqua

Fra le bottiglie de vino"

E io rispondo, "Chi vuole l'acqua?

Berrò il vino adesso!"

Non l'ho imparato su Duolingo.

L'inconnu

Ancré entre la vallée traversée

Et les ombres inconnues du futur,

Un moment de réflexion.

C'est un endroit difficile à vivre.

Je sais ce qui s'est passé avant

Mais pas ce que l'avenir nous réserve.

Après des millénaires,

La terre tourne toujours.

Le coucher du soleil délimite les jours

Pendant qu'il saigne à l'horizon.

La vie d'un homme et ses problèmes

Sont très courts

Avec la perspective de l'éternité.

J'ai aimé, j'ai perdu, j'ai manqué et j'ai appris.

Il faut que j'entre dans l'inconnu,

Que j'abandonne la peur.

The Visitor - 1

At first, you entered unnoticed

And curled up quietly beside me.

As a tiny child, I asked no questions;

Assumed you lived there too.

Sometimes, you would follow me around

So I would pick you up and take you where I went.

An inconvenience for a season,

You would suddenly slink off without a word.

I'd look around, and you'd be gone.

Yet nobody seemed to notice.

As I grew older,

I'd sometimes hear your footsteps on the path;

Anticipate your knock upon the door.

I'd let you in without ceremony, ambivalent,

Neither pleased nor alarmed;

We just... coexisted.

One day, I took you to school and realised

That this wasn't quite the norm.

That if my friends knew people like you,

They weren't discussing it.

Perhaps it was just me.

On the cusp of adulthood,

Your visits became more frequent;

Your knocking more insistent.

At times I would ignore the door

But you'd barge in all the same.

Unbidden yet familiar,

You became a constant companion

Though not one I would choose.

I didn't know what you wanted from me,

But you took it anyway:

My years, my confidence,

Experiences, opportunities,

Chances at relationships,

My first-class degree,

My first career.

On finding out I wasn't the only one,

I dared to ask your name

And finally discovered

That we are not friends or housemates

Needing to muddle along.

Rather, you are a thorn in my side

And are best ignored.

If I can't ignore you

Or pretend to ignore,

I will use you for my own ends;

Take back some of what was mine.

Never again will I answer the door to you.

If you break and enter,

I will suck the life out of you

And feed it to my Notes and Words.

Symbiosis

The night is long during a storm.

Between lightning's devastating strikes and

Thunder's cries of pain,

Each moment pulses; elongated and electrified.

The velvet blackness of the sky is timeless;

Minutes and seconds move so slowly

When it's also dark inside.

Each fresh assault highlights the landscape

And reverberates within.

We hold on tight; hold each other up

As we wait to ride out the storm.

Hope emerges with

The light of a bruised dawn.

Like the sky,

We are battered, contused, fatigued;

But beneath it we stand,

Arms and hearts entwined.

Inexperienced and bewildered,

She grasped blindly in the dark.

With the strength of youth,

She pulled us both to our feet.

With determination forged through hardship,

I held her close and refused to let go.

Together, we still stand.

Together, we will weather a new day.

Together, we are stronger than the storm.